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It’s been a while!!!!! I wish I had some off the hook post to put up right now but I don’t 😦

I was writing something actually and I was going to put it up some time this week but my phone crashed and it had to be formatted so I lost the post I was writing. Oh well, I’ll have to put it up some other time then.

So if I don’t have any post to put up,why am I here you might ask? Good question! Well,if you think about it,this IS a post! Despite the fact that I’m at this very moment typing God knows what, this is a post!

Actually,I’m at Accra mall trying to download the software for my phone that crashed and I’m extremely bored so I thought I’d come here and do a little cleaning of cobwebs and clearing of weeds before you guys’ll think I’d left Blogsville,I’d died or worse still, I was in kiri kiri prison rotting away. You thought so? Tell my enemies you didn’t see me oh! No weapon fashioned against me shall prosper! (oh crap,my download just went from 34% back to 0%!!!! chai! My enemies are at work oh!!!! Which kain tin be this na! Looks like I’m going to be here much longer than I thought! )

So since you’re here and I’m here and I’m still typing and you’re still reading,let’s talk about something before we all doze off! What do you want to talk about? sorry? I can’t hear you,please speak up… Twitter? Really? Are you sure? Okay!

Alrighty then,Twitter. Let’s exclude the verified accounts and Nigerian celebs and talk about normal Nigerian twitter.Right! So Twitter! The modern day capitalist society as @barachelndions once referred to it! (Oya go and google capitalist real quick and hurry back).  We have the bourgeoisie and the proletariat. I will use some illustrations to help you understand better. BOURGEOISIE:

@TheFreakingBoss

BIO: Discombobulated Martian stuck on earth¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯

LOCATION:New Jersey

TWEETS: 57,500

FOLLOWERS: 3974

FOLLOWING: 200

The ones that have followers in thousands.The ones that people are always retweeting and LOL’ing their tweets.The ones that people refer to in real life by their handles..The ones you have to follow whether or not they follow back  for your tweeting experience to be complete,the ones you see all over your TL even when you’re not following them.The cool kids!..You get the picture.

Then we have the proletariat:

@HorlarmeedayHawtBaybe

BIO: i juz want to c wat diz tweeter z about.I finna 2 meet nu frendz.Add me up on your phone lets know eachoda.Facebook PIN: Horlarmeeday HawtestInTown Harbiordhun…BB PIN:289BHY54

LOCATION:Ibadan/Akure

TWEETS: 102

FOLLOWERS: 10

FOLLOWING: 694

The ones that people are always gbagaun’ing,the ones that are forever DM’ing people ‘hey can i gets to know you more?”,the ones that should still be trapped on FB,the ones that have eggs as avatars or pics of themselves wearing shades and posing in okija forest,the ones always begging Donjazzy for RT’s,the ones that spell “ambience” as “umbeyonce” and “nonchalant” as ‘none shallaunt’.

And eventhough there’s no middle class in a real life capitalist society,twitter has that! Let’s call them tweeps:

@Ms_DammyK

BIO: fun,witty,reserved. I am who I am:)

LOCATION:Lagos

TWEETS: 9,000

FOLLOWERS: 280

FOLLOWING: 198

The ones that sometimes get their 5 minutes of fame by cracking a really good joke,the normal ones…

I like to think I’m a tweep(My glorious God won’t let me snap pic beside guava tree wearing ‘Roy Buns”and use as avatar)…

Twitter is just…. Infact! So much freaking drama day in and day out! If it’s not an argument between Snapturians and ubersocialites or an argument about if buns is better than puff puff or a twitfight about who knacked who for white BlackBerry torch, it’s a scandal about who blogged about who or a series of insults directed at Ms Barbie or Mr oracle etc. sometimes I just stay in the shadows and just read my TL! I must admit,Nigerians are hilarious! WOW! Things you see on twitter can keep you laughing for days! Sometimes I’ll remember a tweet and start laughing in public and people’ll think I’m mad…. Rumours spread faster than herpes on Allen avenue…On twitter,people can make mount Kilimanjaro out of a grain of sand! If you doubt it, just tweet “please who is Kanyin West of Good music?Are she that girl who won idol West Africa?”…I swear,you’ll delete your account in the next two hours! You might even need a face transplant to be able to walk the streets of Lagos!*checks download* 50% *sighs*

Some people tend to forget that twitter isn’t real life.Some take twitter way too seriously. Calm the hell down. The moment you realize that you’re like that or you’re becoming like that, please stay away from twitter for some time!

Twitter is fun. Everyday there’s something to laugh about,to talk for hours about. Twitter can keep you entertained in the most boring class. Twitter keeps you informed,up to date. It’s the place where you can rant about irrelevant crap and find people that’ll listen and join in. Basically it’s where you can say what you want to say seeing as Facebook is full of family members and stalkers.

Sometimes I wonder if I would ever deactivate my twitter account and why. I wonder if twitter will become like Facebook and what new thing people would move on to if it did.

Well, for now,I’m gonna ‘tweet in the moment’….(Ahn ahn! Check out that ending mehn!!!!*runs off to check mentions*)

DISCLAIMER: Biko I wasn’t referring to anyone in this post oh! If you think I was, that one is inside your pocket.And if you’re taking this post P,na u sabi oh!…Thanks for reading :*

p.s if there are any mistakes or gbagauns,help me manage because I’m too tired and hungry to edit this post…Thanks

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13 responses »

  1. Very interesting….can hardly think anyother thing u were writin would beat this unless u were writing ‘harry potter prisoner of kirikiri’
    i kinda fall in the TWEEP category unless u think otherwise 😀
    but thats the fun of twitter…the scandals, gossips, fights etc etc
    also the different heirachys, the never follow back twitter celebs, the you must follow me back tweeps unless i’ll keep begging till i die tweeps, i’ll block u if u fuck up in my mention tweeps
    i’m a “i’m really enjoying the drama but spare me the drama tweep” i dont take twitter so serious, it’s just for fun etc etc

    • LMAO! You’re absolutely right! And I’m definitely an ‘I’m enjoying the drama but spare me the drama tweep’ as well! 🙂

  2. #smh
    my e-mail alert just buzzed on my phone
    new mail= ‘new comment on ‘enter title ere’ so i wondered which post was this?
    Oh it’s dis 1, i remember, one of my favourites among ur posts, this and d one about d gal that shot herself & childhood friend who didn’t marry her 😥
    i didn’t read this post but i haven’t forgotten d bourgeois bio ‘disgruntled martian stuck on earth
    ”’\(*_*)/”’
    nice 1

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